Weary

There have been times throughout my life when I have come before God, exhausted, done,

depleted, uncertain, tearful, weighted down, saddened, feeling unloved, rejected, angry, and worthless. Times that have caused me to succumb to my knees, letting God know that I can go no further! That I am beyond weary, that I was empty.

There was one such time that the only thing I knew to do, was to call upon my heavenly Father. So, I went to the church, got down on my knees before Him on the outdoor steps and wept. Iwept and I wept, and I wept. For within me, I felt as though my life was broken and full of

uncertainty. I felt alone, abandoned, lost within a world I had come to dread. I was weary beyond measure-deep soul weariness. I was tired, without strength or hope and I cried

endlessly.

As dusk began settling in, the cross on top of the church’s building entryway, began to shine.

Boldly illuminating all around me, as I knelt there. Then, the light surrounding me changed into colors that were delicate and mellow. I watched as each colour, began to slowly immerse me within sensations of comfort, peace, and warmth. Their layers of pastel shadings wrapped me within their folds as the power of Christs’ presence consumed me from within, revealing I was not alone.

As I was transcended within the colors, gently my heavenly Father refreshed my understanding that I needed to not believe in others or myself, but Him and Him alone. To

believe in who He is and all that He desires for me, because I am His child. Within the prism of colours, He reminds me that I am to trust in Him with all that I am, for truly only within Him shall I find rest. That He alone is my hope. That surely, I will faulter and become weary if I look to the fallen promises of hope offered within this world, others or within my own strength. That He is to be the only need I am to have, for He alone is the One, most Faithful. That He is my Father, who knows all of me. That no part of my foundation is to be built upon the promises or ideals of man, for only Christ alone, like His Word is infallible, is true.

Not realizing that I had fallen asleep upon the church steps, I was gently awakened by the

calling of my name. As I looked upward, no light shone before or behind the cross. Rather, I felt His presence within. I no longer was depleted, my spirit refreshed. I was not alone; I was with my heavenly Father.

Psalm 16: 8-11:

I have set the Lord always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken.

Therefore, my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices; my flesh also dwells secure. For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol or let your holy one see corruption. You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.