As the onset of the unprecedented Coronavirus pandemic began to infect the world- one country, one person collectively, uncertainty, instability, speculation, confusion, and fear quickly became the foundation of the world. I watched how, within the blink of an eye, Covid 19 consumed the world. Initiating lockdowns, separation, and isolation while it began ravaging nations of people with sickness and death. Flippantly discarding years of societies normal protocols, rules, and regulations. Affecting businesses, homes, families, churches, schools, hospitals etc. There was nothing or no one it feared to attack. Altering what was considered normal, annihilating what once was.
Where continually, twenty-four hours a day, everyone was exposed by all avenues of social media to the blatant reality that as a global society, we maintained minimal if no bases of knowledge to what lay before us. Let alone how we were to protect ourselves, our loved ones, our world, to ensure survival. The anchor of familiarity that we all had relied upon was lifted, leaving us to drift in a world of uncertainty. Not only was our enemy unknown, but our enemy was in control.
For me, when the pandemic struck, I was hurdled into a season of encountering one Tsunami after another. Initially, months following, and still, I was left with an abundance of individuals who were frightened and frantic. Where many of them had fought wars before my time, lived through the depression, buried their loved ones, saw their crops destroyed by parched land or by earthly critters. Where a quarter got you into the fair with all the rides you desired to encounter and where sneaking into the pie eating contest was expected. Where the dancing eyes of youth found their lifelong sweethearts, as if it were yesterday. Where pitching hay was done by hand and hundreds of jars of food preserves were a necessity if one surely desired to survive the winter months coming ahead. Where babies were born on the homestead and parents went without, in the hopes of a better life for their children, their grandchildren, their great grandchildren.
As our world became infected, I was instantly adopted into dozens and dozens of families. Where daily I heard fears expressed and heart cries of “what if”. I encountered hundreds of questions to why, where, when, what about us? I wiped tears and hugged upon many. (Behind surgical masks and gloves) I offered words of assurance, as I watched by their side, the latest news releases, making proclamations of multiple deaths, that kept moving forward. I gave promises to remain, to not desert them. I would not abandon them, that I cared- I did and I do. I did the best I could, to calm down their anxieties, re-confirming that the regulations now governing, was keeping them safe, alive. That it was one way we could confront the unseen enemy affecting our lives, our world, all that we knew!
I became the surrogate presence of their adult children. Fulfilling their family’s requests- assuring them their parents were cared for, safe and loved. Each day within my care they are treasured, and respected-they are family.
Unfortunately, as the coronavirus spread, not all were able to endure the isolation, the fear that consumed their thoughts, and God took them home. These were the times on my way home from work I would stop on the side of the road and cry. Calling out to God. Telling Him I was tired- that this was too much, or sometimes I would just cry reaching for Him, His embrace? It was during one of these times as He held me tightly, that God said to me “into the darkness you shine “and began to sing a song that I sang many times as a child.
“This little light of mine, I’m going to let it shine. This little light of mine, I am going to let it shine. This little light of mine, I am going to let it shine, let it shine, let it shine, let it shine. Hide it under a bushel “Oh No” I am going to let it shine….”
My heavenly Father reminded me that this world is governed by the enemy, His adversary. That even though I am in this world of sin and darkness, I am not of this world. That as His child I am to let my light shine before others, so that they too may glorify God in heaven. (Matt: 5:13-16) He reminded me that with each person I care for, with each hug I give, with each tear I cry with or for them, He is there. That my faith in Him, in all who call Him Lord, are the light of the world. That He has called me to step out into the darkness and collectively together, with other brothers and sisters in Christ, in this time of the pandemic, reveal His presence to others. That we are to go beyond the walls of the church and reveal the heart of God. That we are His beacon, that dispels the darkness so others may find Him, the Light of the World. That I am to let my light shine so others to may follow Him and have the light of Life.
Is this a time of uncertainty, in many ways it is. But one thing for me that is certain is I know no matter what comes before me, my heavenly Father upholds me. That I have nothing to fear, for He walks with me. As strangely as it may sound, am I thankful for this season within my own journey-I am. For it has awakened me to a greater understanding of not only my relationship with my heavenly Father, or my responsibility before God, but my loving responsibility toward my fellow man.
Cynthia